Long-term shoppers at Aldi have been under scrutiny from retail psychological researchers over the past few months following hundreds of cases of "Bagattacks."
Since the 5p bag charge has come into effect, many retailers have reported that new types of panic attacks have been occurring at their checkouts. Customers have been paying for their goods and then suddenly realising that they haven't brought a bag with them.
Where these cases of "Bagattacks" have happened, people have exhibited behaviour such as panting, shaking and breaking into cold sweats. Despite the fact that staff have explained that it is just 5p for a bag and not armegeddon, it has taken several minutes to calm them down, with some people being taken to A nd E to wait with others with life threatening injuries such as a nasty cold or stubbed toe.
Shoppers at Aldi,as a result of reusing their bags, generate a high level of a chemical called "Knotardchusbringabag" and as such have a high resistance to this terrible affliction. For those who suffer from this problem, it is being recommended that they get a grip and sort themselves out or just pay the 5p and relax.
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